The Abundance of Trial and Errors

Okay let me start this post by stating the obvious:


I failed to write a weekly blog post.
My 2019 Album is now my 2020 Album.
I am off Keto, and have been since a week after I posted my last blog post.

You don't have to leave any nasty comments. I already feel like a humongous failure one way or the other. But you know what? I have come to realise one simple, undeniable truth. A truth that no matter how many times we try to evade it, always comes back to bite us in the buttocks and that is:


It laughs at the face of your many plans (no matter how foolproof!),
Throws sneak punches when you're turned the other way,
and gives you lemons to make lemonade when you're more of a limau ais person (you feel me?)

Let me also tell you this. After nearly three decades here on Earth, I think I have finally made peace with life's many (maaaany) quirks and am now holding my head up high, awaiting the next curve ball to come my direction.

But first, dear reader, give me a chance to explain myself.

I failed to write a weekly blog post.

Okay, this is mostly my fault. I got caught up with so many other things (shows, preparations for 'Goldmine' and sheer PROCRASCINATION) that I wasn't able to hold up the end of my bargain. I will offer no more promises of this nature again, but I will try my best to keep you guys in the loop. After all, you guys are what keeps me going! So please, please, feel free to comment on any of my social media posts to keep me accountable. You have my go-ahead.

My 2019 Album is now my 2020 Album.

I'm not at all sorry about this one. In fact, I am excited to tell you that I have reworked and improved on the concept I have for my debut album. Once again, I can't divulge all the juicy details yet but I will tell you this: It's never been done before in Malaysia (or even the world!). So needless to say, I'm half-brazen and half-scared sh*tless.

One-word clue? Roots. 

In order to avoid all the stress, hair-pulling and binge-eating incidents I had with the production and launch of my previous 'Echoes' EP, I've decided to take a step back and take my time with this one. I really want to enjoy the process this time around, and make sure that everything from budget to the timeline, is covered. But of course, I'll be fully expecting Life's mischievous hand to come around and muck it all up again. Never mind, this time I'll be ready.

As per usual, you can keep up on all the updates regarding my album on my Instagram (@beverlymatujal) and Facebook (@beverlymatujalmusic).

And finally,

I am off Keto, and have been since a week after I posted my last blog post.

For every soul who has ever been or is still on Keto, YOU HAVE MY UTMOST RESPECT. Boys and Girls, Keto is soooo hard! And to be perfectly honest, it's not the complete restriction on sugar that gets me. It's the veggies okay, THE VEGGIES!

If you're telling me I have to give up carrots, apples, potatoes, bananas and mangoes (basically almost everything that is good in my world), we're going to have a problem.

I went into it thinking it would be doable, you know? I did it once, I can do it again, right? Wrong.

One week in and I'm already reminded of why I stopped Keto in the first place. I remembered how it became such a hassle to eat out on date nights with Darren or even enjoy on outings with my friends. It was expensive to buy groceries for, and it put such a stress on me emotionally after awhile. Not to mention how it took a toll when I was weight training. I was almost always too weak to lift my usual weights. And at the time, I was falling back in love with weight lifting again!

So, I came to the conclusion that Keto doesn't work for me. Now, I'm not refuting any of the potential health and mental benefits it can bring. But the thing is, I'm now at a point in my life where I'm tired of NOT being friends will all the food groups, you know? I want to have all my fruits and veggies, rice, pasta and maybe a chocolate chip cookie every once in a while, when I want to!

As of July 2019, I have been consistently going to the gym for a month now. How do I feel? FRIGGIN' AMAZING! Recently, I also realised that it's about time for me to direct my fitness goals towards performance instead of aesthetics.

Ladies, I'm sure you will understand. We are constantly being told from left to right on how we should look, what we should weigh and in a nutshell, how to live our lives. And the older I get, the more I understand that striving for perfection is a one-way ticket to the town of self-loathing with the general consensus that you are never good enough.

The perfect body does not exist, girls! We need to love our body and treat it with respect and kindness. Strive to be the best version of yourself, instead. Super cringey, but it's true. This simple lesson is something that I intend to apply to my workout regime and nutrition. This time, I'm not giving myself a time frame. After all, I don't want to be doing this just for 12 weeks or 6 months! I want this way of life to be sustainable. And it might take a year or two for my body to change aesthetically, but that's really not the point. I want this to be a permanent practice. And this takes so much pressure of of the whole fitness thing.

So my goal is to be able to do 5 pull-ups. It's that simple, for now. It'll be 3-4 days of training per week at my local gym with my partner-in-crime and in-life, Darren. Tonight, it'll be week two for him and the start of my second month at the gym! You can see snippets of our fitness escapades on my Instagram, by the way.

Oh, and just to clarify.


That also goes to all you boys who have been saying otherwise. Let me break it down for you.

Females - no testosterone. SO,
Females - do not build muscles like men do unless under caloric surplus and steroids.
Lifting Weights - build muscles.
Muscles - burn fats.


Cardio - not effective at burning fats compared to weight lifting.
So with cardio and no weight training, you'll lose weight (fat AND muscle) which is not what you want. But under a weight training regimen, you'll burn mostly fat.

Thank you very much.

Right. I guess that's about it for my explanation. I just realised what a long post this became. So if you're still reading this, thank you so so much for indulging me! I completely forgot how therapeutic writing a blog entry can be.

I hope you enjoyed this piece of random writing and I guess I'll speak to you again soon. :)

'Till then, I'm off to the gym!



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